Men and women of the choir,
(I know the Tenors
fall in there somewhere, but just where is uncertain to me...)
It is with great pride that I submit to
you the first Official
Foreman's Report
for school year 1998-99. In case you have been diligently deleting
my e mails without reading them, once again, I shall detail just what this
report contains:
The purpose of the Foreman's Report is four-fold(
? ):
1) The Foreman's Report keeps the choir
informed about construction happenings.
2) It gives me an open door to embarrass
anyone who I believe might have acted in a degrading manner over the
Weekend... Oh, and believe me, I will do just that.
3) It allows us the opportunity to investigate
new construction techniques -- always exciting for some of the VETERAN
hard-hats in the choir...
4) It provides a nearly limitless source of drivel for us to share on the Choir Board. (Enter the Darkside at your own risk!!)
Now that we have established the groundwork for the report ( key in ANY successful construction), I shall cut to the meat and potatoes of the report. Without further ado.....
One building (#
of stories and acreage yet to be determined)
A botched contract
agreement
A photo shoot
of excellent architecture
Surveying
This is disgraceful. I thought that The DARKSIDE had sunken it's roots deep into the choir last year. I recall many instances last year where we constructed a whole metropolis in a weekend. Upperclassmen and women, I can only blame you for not setting the example. We must coddle the rookie construction workers... show them how to distinguish prime sites for a skyscraper from humiliating places for building projects... They lack the natural instinct for design and execution with power tools. Let's work on these projects for Kenilworth, shall we?
So here's what progress we DID make this weekend:
I received multiple reports of foundation laying going on with two of the rookie workers. Very nice. It brings a tear to my eye to know that all hope in the choir is not lost. This construction is particularly interesting, because it introduces a new form of constructing that we will call "House-stacking" or "Stackhousing." Goode innovation, plebes. You make me proud. Veteran hard-hats submitted the survey of the site to me, but I must report that they were unable to accurately gauge the size of the building, nor were they able to say for sure if the project was completed. As goode co-workers always do, our veterans managed to capture a few snapshots of the project in progress. As of yet, these photos are still being processed and analyzed so that a more detailed report can be issued. Stay tuned for the release of these pics and the construction update.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Despite how proud I am of the new workers, they committed a construction faux pas. YOU WILL NOT PROCEED WITH ANY CONSTRUCTION WITHOUT HAVING YOUR BUILDING PERMIT IN ORDER AND HAVING THE SITE ZONED. This is for YOUR protection. When you are planning to construct, Contact TONY "Wrecking-ball" FANTASIA and inform him of your intentions. He is in charge of zoning and issuing building permits. He'll hook you up.
A sad addition to this report involves our twin towers construction company. It seems that the tall twosome decided to jointly pursue a contract on a Avalon duplex ( a very profitable venture ). They had goode intents, but their execution lacked planning. Following a survey of the site, they approached and proposed a deal to begin construction. However, as agreements were made, they made the mistake of not requiring the other parties involved to sign an agreement to follow through with their end of the deal. Consequently, when T.T. Co. showed up on the site the next day, the civilian workers pulled out at the last minute and didn't even show up to apologize. It was a crushing defeat for the fledgling company, as they had invested a lot of resources in preparation for the job. They were prepared to spend long hours working, but they were left with no materials to build with. A disheartening failure.
Finally, as some
of the veteran building inspectors and I set out about enjoying an evening
relaxing from strenuous surveying, we happened across an excellent display
of fine beachfront architecture. Always prepared, my Chief of Construction
whipped out his photography equipment and took a few shots of the premises
so that we could all enjoy it. As with the other photos, distribution will
be forthcoming.
I'm afraid that this is all that you supplied me with this trip.
Not too bad, but I expect MUCH MORE from all of you. You know the low standards
that we must maintain. Let's get back on the job next month and do some
REAL CONSTRUCTION!!! Until next time,
Danny Boy Goode
Foreman-in-Training
Dark Side Co-Founder,
Local Catholic Choir Branch #69